Superfan Going Overboard
Entry for the Advent of Comedy.
Form: Scene for two actors.
Superfan Going Overboard
A new couple, HE and SHE, are both on stage facing the audience. They talk to the audience, sometimes just talking, sometimes reacting to each other, sometimes not hearing each other, sometimes enacting something that happened earlier.
SHE So, when we first met, I tried to play it a bit cool.
HE She did not.
SHE I thought, what if he's too cool for it, you know. So I played it cool. When he asked what music I liked, I just said, well, you know, this and that.
HE I could tell she was a total Swiftie from day one.
SHE And he was so dismissive of Taylor.
HE I said I was into punk rock.
SHE It was almost a dealbreaker.
HE Anyway, when she asked me my opinion about Taylor...
SHE OH MY GOD YOU CALLED HER TAYLOR...
HE ...for the fifteenth time in the eight weeks we had known each other...
SHE It was not that much.
HE It was.
SHE Was not.
HE She asked it fake off the cuff, but you could tell it was totally premediated. So, I said, yeah it's not bad. (beat) That's when the dam burst.
SHE OH MY GOD HE LOVES TAYLOR SWIFT.
HE I did not say that....
SHE I've always felt that he was a total superfan!
HE Not a superfan....
SHE I knew it!
HE Not even a regular fan.
SHE He is the Swiftiest Swiftie that ever lived.
HE And then the dam broke. She just started sending me Taylor Swift songs multiple times per day.
SHE OMG YOU MUST HEAR THIS SONG! Did you hear it? Did you hear it? I sent it to you 21 minutes ago, so you MUST have heard it.
HE She sent me articles...
HE ...books about her life...
HE Then I got sent Taylor Swift bed sheets...
SHE Which he put on his bed immediately!
HE She unpacked them for me and said she would put them on.
SHE Well he would have done it, but he was so tired, and I was there anyway, so yeah.
HE And t-shirts
SHE Which he wore.
HE She dressed me. (beat) And then she said she got tickets to the Swift World Tour in Chicago. And now we have to plan this holiday...
SHE Well, we don't live that far away, so we might as well swing by.
HE WE LIVE IN EUROPE!
SHE So you don't want to go?
HE No!
SHE I thought you loved Taylor Swift.
HE I didn't. I said she was okay. I said she was not bad.
SHE So, you do love her?
HE No!
SHE Ok, great. Let's find another show in Europe then.
HE sighs and walks away. SHE is left behind, confused and distraught.
- 🠔 My Inner Voices