My Inner Voices

Form: Script for a comedic sketch

My Inner Voices


EXT. MEDITATION GARDEN DAY

A tranquil garden with a meditation pillow on the ground.
A MEDITATOR walks into view, wearing robes.
He sits down on his meditation pillow, crosses his legs, and closes his eyes.
He sighs. Then he starts to focus.

MEDITATOR'S INNER VOICE (V.O.)
Let's focus on my breath. Don't force it, just breathe in... and out.

He sits there for a bit.
Then one of his INNER VOICES separates itself, a transparent ghost like figure that stands up from where the MEDITATOR is sitting.
It's the INNER VOICE of SOCIAL ANXIETY and it is a flamboyant character.

SOCIAL ANXIETY
What if I breathe funny? (mocks quick, shallow breathing) this is not right

MEDITATOR'S INNER VOICE (V.O.)
Watch my thoughts float by like a cloud. There is nothing to do. Nowhere to be.

Another transparent, ghost-like INNER VOICE separates itself. This is OBSESSIVENESS.
 OBSESSIVENESS is always clenched, and obsessing about things that might happen or go wrong.

OBSESSIVENESS
Yes, there is somewhere to be. That dentist appointment, remember. And the roof needs to be fixed. And the economy is bad. And there is crisis and war in the world, what about that?

MEDITATOR'S INNER VOICE (V.O.)
I cannot change what I cannot control. Let go of what I cannot control.

OBSESSIVENESS (finger wag)
No no no, you don't understand. We must control... everything!

MEDITATOR'S INNER VOICE (V.O.)
Let them come, let them be, let them go.

OBSESSIVENESS
NOOOO! WE NEED TO HOLD OOOONNNN! TO EVERY ... SINGLE ... ONE...!

MEDITATOR'S INNER VOICE (V.O.)
If you like, you can focus on some affirming thoughts.

The INNER VOICE of TOUGHNESS separates itself. This is a buff, army type of guy.

TOUGHNESS
Affirming thoughts are for wimps and losers.

MEDITATOR'S INNER VOICE (V.O.)
I am enough. I am worthy. I am ok.

TOUGHNESS
NO, YOU NEED TO BE BETTER! BE BETTER!

MEDITATOR'S INNER VOICE (V.O.)
Be softer with me. I am a breathing thing. A memory to someone. A home to a life.

TOUGHNESS
NO, TOUGHER! HARDER! TOUGHER! YOU NEED TO BE HARD AS ROCK OR PEOPLE WILL CHEW YOU UP AND SPIT YOU OUT!

MEDITATOR'S INNER VOICE (V.O.)
We must not allow other people's limited perceptions to define us.

SOCIAL ANXIETY
Nuhuh, we definitely need to do that! How else are we getting ahead?

MEDITATOR'S INNER VOICE (V.O.)
If you care about people's approval, you become their prisoner.

SOCIAL ANXIETY (melodramatic, holding their hands out)
Then chain me, because I don't want to live in shame!

MEDITATOR'S INNER VOICE (V.O.)
May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I be safe.

OBSESSIVENESS
But how can you be when there's SO MUCH STUFF TO DO?

MEDITATOR'S INNER VOICE (V.O.)
I am perfect. Just the way I am.

TOUGHNESS
No, you are weak as shit.

SOCIAL ANXIETY
And everybody hates you.

MEDITATOR'S INNER VOICE (V.O.)
In the midst of movement and chaos, I keep stillness inside of me.

The INNER VOICE of PANIC separates itself. He is just constantly screaming in panic.

PANIC
AAAAAAH!

MEDITATOR'S INNER VOICE (V.O.)
I don't believe everything I think.

PANIC
AAAAH!

MEDITATOR'S INNER VOICE (V.O.)
Rule number one is, don't sweat the small stuff. Rule number two, it's all small stuff.

OBSESSIVENESS
NO, IT'S ALL HUGE STUFF! HUGE, GIANT STUFF!

PANIC
AAAAAAH!!

MEDITATOR'S INNER VOICE (V.O.)
Focus you energy, NOT on fighting the old, but on building the new.

SOCIAL ANXIETY
WHO ARE YOU CALLING OLD!?

MEDITATOR'S INNER VOICE (V.O.)
What makes you vulnerable, makes you beautiful.

TOUGHNESS
NO, IT MAKES YOU WEAK!

MEDITATOR'S INNER VOICE (V.O.)
The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.

SOCIAL ANXIETY
OH, YOU'RE NOT CHOOSING ME? LIKE ANY OTHER OF THESE IDIOTS KNOW ANY BETTER!

TOUGHNESS (to SOCIAL ANXIETY)
WHAT DID YOU SAY!?

SOCIAL ANXIETY
YOU HEARD ME!

OBSESSIVENESS
Guys, no! Let's focus on HOW MUCH STUFF THERE IS TO DO!

PANIC
AAAAAAAH!

Now the INNER VOICES all start to argue with each other and shouting over each other.
It becomes hard to hear any of them clearly.

MEDITATOR'S INNER VOICE (V.O.)
True self-confidence is not...

The MEDITATOR stops, unable to focus.
He looks behind him where all the INNER VOICES are arguing, not paying attention to him.
MEDITATOR is a mix of puzzled, annoyed, and bemused. He shakes his head.
Then he walks away, offscreen. The INNER VOICES keep arguing.
After a while they notice that he's gone.

SOCIAL ANXIETY
Hey, where did he go?

They quiet down. They look around.

SOCIAL ANXIETY
Oh, great. You scared them off!

PANIC
AAAAAH!

And they start arguing again.

FADE TO BLACK